open post;

[mahem]

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open post for pic prompts, starters, and texts. f/f + f/m for shipping.
please link nsfw images.
compliant through the suicide squad.

Comments

text—

[drollery]

harley darling, do me a favor, won't you?

[mahem]

whatcha need puddin pie?

[drollery]

i need you to run a small errand for me
be a dear and go pick up a package for me at the warehouse down on main

[ is it a trap? ]

my hands are a bit t i e d right now or else i would do it myself

[ it might be a trap. ]

don't keep me waiting for long
you know how much i h a t e delays

[ okay, it's definitely a trap.

but!! if it's any consolation, the trap isn't meant for her. it's meant for him — which is exactly why he needs her to play proxy for him. ]

[mahem]

oooooooookkkkkkkkkk

[ can you hear the sighing from here? guess who has no idea what she’s about to walk into, though. ]

can we go out for ice cream after?
pretty please
i gotta craving for some chocolate fudge brownie
with whipped cream and sprinkles on top

[ leave it to her to try and finagle a sweet treat out of the deal. ]

[drollery]

[ eh—

why not? ]

of course we can
we'll turn it into an early date night

[ if she makes it back in one piece anyway. ]

[mahem]

tell me what you’re gonna order, baby

[ thoughts to distract her while she picks up this package or whatever. ]

[drollery]

[ it's like catering to an extremely needy and clingy child. ugh. ]

now now now we wouldn't want to ruin the surprise
there is nothing to anticipate if you know what you're heading into

do you trust me, baby?

[mahem]

course i do, puddin cup

and you know how much i like surprises

[ even if some of his don’t always tend to be the nice kind. ]

don’t i get a little hint?

[drollery]

the impatience is commendable [ especially since his own is growing. ]
but no, i'm not gonna give you a hint

after all, where would the fun be in that?
i want to see the look on your face when you get back

so enough with all this chitchat and hurry along now

[mahem]

you always do like to keep me in suspense

i'm going, i'm going

what, you think i can't text and snag the goods at the same time?

[drollery]

oh i have no d o u b t
you're a wonder, a spark, a real jamboree

r e g a l e me please
i want to read every trifling detail
right down to the second you walk outta that door with my delightful box of goods in toll

[ yadda yadda yadda — can you feel how empty his words are, harley? ]

[mahem]

and don't you forget it, j

ok ok fine
maybe not everything
just the good parts
like whether or not i get to bash any heads in

[drollery]

there's my girl

hahaha do say hi to the boys for me

[ he will be (half-)waiting to hear the tale from her. so thrilling! so electrifying!!! so indubitably riveting.

or perhaps, he won't hear from her at all, which is just as well. (; ]

[sorely]

Didn't you say you were just going to make a sandwich before you left?

Why does my kitchen look like you blew it up?

[mahem]

i did make a sandwich!
i have a very unique building process
also you keep things in very strange places



i made one for you too by the way
you're welcome 😘😘😘

[sorely]

There's dirty pots and pans everywhere.
Why would you even have used all of this?

I don't even know where the sandwich is.

[mahem]

cause halfway through i thought about making somethin else and then didn't

finally found the bread

it's in the fridge, duh!
there's no emoji for that though
i checked

[sorely]

You can just say fridge.
You don't need to say everything or anything with emojis.

[mahem]

why not???
that’s what they’re there for

🏹🏹🏹 BABE is what you’re in my phone as
they didn’t have the crossbow but that seemed like nice best thing

[sorely]

I don't use a damn bow and arrow.

[ how many times does she have to say it!! it's not the same thing!! ]

[mahem]

okay jeez

don’t get your panties in a twist

I could just leave you as “BABE” 😉

[sorely]

I'm not babe either.

[ though that one's ... less annoying. ]

[mahem]

first of all: have you looked in a mirror lately
beg
to
differ

and b
well i guess i could just change it to “crossbow killa 💜”
purple’s kinda your signature color

[equity]

Hey, HQ. You want that hair tie back?

[mahem]

nah, you keep it!

think of it as something to remember me by

or, you know
a handy accessory for the next time you need to kick some ass