[Charlotte shakes her head, not even looking at Harley, before nodding and then eventually shrugging. Eventually, she sits up to Harley kneeling before her and she shakes her head.]
This fucking place. I... I can't do it any more. I can't keep pretending it's okay. It's not okay. I'm not okay. I...
[She groans in utter frustration.]
And you're gonna end up mad at me because I have dragged you into a load of shit and debt and - fuck ! Fuck, I'm sorry.
Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. Back it up a little for me. Wait. [ she snaps her fingers in revelation. ] This have something to do with that long-ass message I got from... shit, what was his name again?
[ maybe she should’ve listened to it more closely, but she can probably get a clearer story from charlotte provided it’s told as straightforwardly as possible. ]
Just lay it out for me. Tell me what happened. [ she reaches up to cup charlotte’s cheek, thumb sweeping over dampened skin. ]
Huaisang? It’s him. I bet it is full of lies too, whatever he sent you, and there’s nothing I can do for it. He’ll have me whipped if I object.
[She shrugs unhappily.]
It’s not the threat. I’ve been so before. It’s not even the beating, or that he had me in prison or... oh yeah, I.. you might get fined for it. I didn’t think. All I did was spit at him. That’s it. You should think I’d beaten him or pulled his hair. It’s not even that. It’s just - I am sick of being a sub. I am sick of not being allowed a voice, and I am mad. I’m so mad I was forced to kneel to a man who has insulted me and beg for my job and for his forgiveness.
[She manages to smile.]
I am the queen of pretend and he and Ignacio are fooled... but it’s not fair that he can insult me and I cannot retaliate.
Uh, he's not gonna lay a finger on you. Not if I have anythin' to say about it.
[ much as she hates to pull the dom card, she'll do it in this instance, because the last thing she's going to put up with is anyone else hurting charlotte and the idea of it makes something twist in her stomach, makes her rage but also realize faintly that she can't go running off to deal with this now while charlotte's here needing her. ]
He what?!
[ she doesn't even hear the rest of it, really, and it's not that she'd care much about the fine either because she makes enough to cover it, but that makes her spring to her feet, fingers clenching into small fists before she has to will herself to sit down again, this time joining charlotte on the couch. ]
No. [ she draws in a breath, trying to calm herself down. ] No, you're right. He can't — I'm not gonna let him get away with that, okay? But this is what I'm here for, gorgeous. To deal with it when you can't. You gotta let me take care of you.
[ she leans forward, smoothing a hand against charlotte's face. ] I know you gotta play nice and all that bullshit, and I know you're good at it. Right? You wouldn't have gotten to where you are without knowin' how to pretend. But anybody who crosses you is crossin' me too, and I wanna protect you as long as you let me know what's goin' on. Let me handle it when you can't.
[Charlotte shakes her head. She sounds exhausted and looks absolutely shattered.]
I had to apologise to a man who insulted me and had me carted off to bloody prison. And on my damn knees as well. I just - hate that I need you to fight it.
[She leans her cheek against Bruce's soft fur.]
It wasn't even enough. The knees - the damn collar - [Her fingers go to the thick leather collar buckled tightly round her neck, and she toys with the heavy ring that dangles onto her breastbone]
He wants it on the network. The apology. Public. He wants me to tell everyone that I've learned how to behave.
Look, if there's anything I've learned over the last few months it's that we girls have gotta have each other's backs. For times exactly like this one.
[ harley's pissed, but she's choosing to channel this frustration the only way she can think of right now: coming up with a plan. ] I was on my own for a long time. Didn't want to have to need anybody else. But then I realized, sometimes it doesn't make ya weak to ask for help. And the people who really matter will always be there to give it if you need. Also —
[ she reaches up to find the buckles that are keeping that ugly leather collar wrapped around charlotte's neck, fingers working insistently until she can take it off. ]
— the only person who gets to put a collar on you like that is you. Right? So if you gotta wear one once in a while, we'll find you something you like. Something pretty.
[ she turns over the leather in her fingers and then unceremoniously tosses it aside. ] Well, you're not gonna have to do anything. Not alone, anyway. What if... what if I say somethin' to him? Tell him if he has a problem with you, he comes to me. And I'll tell him whatever bullshit he needs to hear to make himself feel better. 'Kay?
[ she reaches up to run her fingers through the ends of charlotte's hair, gently twining. ] Think of the contract as, like... a protection agreement. You've got me in your corner. So if you need to tap out and let me go into the ring for you, you can always do that. Don't think you have to fight alone 'cause you don't wanna make me mad. What I'd be more pissed about is findin' out later when I coulda done something to help you.
[She shakes her head. She loves her sister, but she can't confide in her. Charlotte takes a deep breath and shifts her weight from Bruce to Harley. The collar coming off is a relief; Charlotte's tears are drying, but she's still shaking from anger and upset.]
Hey though - don't lose that fucking thing. I'm gonna use it in this stupid apology. I know what you're saying but... if you go after him, you'll have Ignacio after you. And what better way to get at youth to go after me or Cass? And no one will care if we're slammed in the people zoo or whatever and they won't let you help. Harls, help me make this apology bloody brilliant. We'll have a laugh but make it look serious?
[A plan's starting to form in her mind - a vague one, because it's Charlotte and all she can see is Huaisang taking her fake apology completely seriously on the network. She goes back to stroking Bruce.]
He reminds me of a Lord I knew back in London. He were Lucy's cull as well. Couldn't stand me because I knew. I knew he were a snake, and not just his dick. He was evil. Turns out he was even worse - fucking murderer what sent my Ma to the gallows and countless girls to their graves. Lucy won't see it - but I need my damn job back to make sure she's safe. He had her kneeling like a damn dog at his feet.
[Harley's hand in her hair is so soothing, and Charlotte can feel the upset dissipating at least a little.] You're so... So brilliant. If I have to have a dominant, I am glad you are she.
No, you’re not wearin’ that again. [ harley can’t decide what pisses her off most — the fact that another dom decided it was their right to put a collar on charlotte like that, or that they chose arguably the ugliest one to force her to play the part and make nice. ] We’re gonna get you another one. A better one than that. If they need you collared up for some fucking apology tour, then it’ll be one you want to wear, not one you have to.
[ what grinds her gears more is that she had to find out about all of this after the fact, but then again, she hasn’t tried to really put tabs on charlotte or pay attention to where she is every minute of every day either, so maybe some of this is her own fault. ]
So we give them what they want for now, but we do it our way. Don’t give ‘em the satisfaction of makin’ you kneel in things they made you wear. You dress up how you want, you wear something pretty and shiny around your neck and you let me do the talkin’ on the network, and if I have to tell ‘em that I had to punish ya, we can make ‘em believe it. We’re good at pretend, aren’t we? [ her voice is soft, soothing, and she leans in to press her lips to charlotte’s temple, stroking along the side of her tear-streaked cheek. ]
You know I’d do anything for you, don’tcha, gorgeous? [ she turns charlotte’s face to hers, nudges their noses together. ] And that includes dealin’ with these assholes.
[Charlotte closes her eyes as Harley leans in, letting her scent, sweet and sharp and... goodness knows what - wash over her. It's a motherly gesture, rather than sexual, possibly the most affectionate touch Charlotte's ever experienced. It quietens her and she lets herself be soothed by Harley's plan. She nods along to Harley's question.]
Right. Pretend. We'll make 'em think it and then do whatever the hell we want after. Right. [She nods, almost to herself, before Harley catches her face. Charlotte smiles, and rubs her nose against the side of Harley's, nuzzling in.] I wish we could just take your bat and break their knees. Then they should have at least reason to complain about me. Perhaps I shall just have to wait until he has forgotten me and then smash his shop windows instead.
[Charlotte pecks Harley's cheek.] Or perhaps I shall just let you help me forget it all ever happened.
And — I know you wanna protect your sister. But you're important too. [ she cups charlotte's face between her hands, fingers moving to wipe away all of the dampness still clinging to the other woman's cheeks even if she can't take away all of the signs that charlotte's been crying, the red-rimmed eyes and the slightly puffy features. ] If you don't wanna go back there, you don't have to. We can figure out another way to keep her safe, and you can work somewhere better for you. Pick up more shifts at the club or somethin'.
[ it is an appealing thought, wielding her bat on something or someone, and she considers it with a tilt of her head, but in the same breath she realizes that this might be a case of playing it smart, not hard. especially since huaisang has already demonstrated how he reacts to the violent approach. ]
Why don't we think about somethin' else for a little while? No reason they need to live rent-free in your head anymore. [ she smooths charlotte's hair back with one hand, trying to coax a smile with one of her own. ] Lemme cheer you up.
Lucy has such bad taste in her culls. The man she signed to at home turned out to be a murderer. He sent my Ma to the gallows and I couldn't even find Lucy to let her say goodbye. Huaisang might not be a murderer but there is something there that reminds me of Fallon. It worries me for her, and she'll refuse to see it for the brothel. That's why I must go back.
[She smiles at Harley's gentle touches and her infectious smile.]
I landed on my feet when you took me on, Harley. What would I do without you?
Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees, or whatever. [ there's a chance she butchered that sentiment, but the point is maybe lucy's in too deep to know who she's gotten herself involved with, or maybe she's just unwilling to believe it. harley understands loyalty, but she also isn't about to let charlotte walk back into a bad situation without finding a way to protect herself too. ]
The same shit you did before we even ran into each other. [ she tucks a few pieces of hair behind charlotte's ear, hand dropping back into her own lap. ] You've always been capable of standin' tall, with or without me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
This fucking place. I... I can't do it any more. I can't keep pretending it's okay. It's not okay. I'm not okay. I...
[She groans in utter frustration.]
And you're gonna end up mad at me because I have dragged you into a load of shit and debt and - fuck ! Fuck, I'm sorry.
no subject
[ maybe she should’ve listened to it more closely, but she can probably get a clearer story from charlotte provided it’s told as straightforwardly as possible. ]
Just lay it out for me. Tell me what happened. [ she reaches up to cup charlotte’s cheek, thumb sweeping over dampened skin. ]
no subject
Huaisang? It’s him. I bet it is full of lies too, whatever he sent you, and there’s nothing I can do for it. He’ll have me whipped if I object.
[She shrugs unhappily.]
It’s not the threat. I’ve been so before. It’s not even the beating, or that he had me in prison or... oh yeah, I.. you might get fined for it. I didn’t think. All I did was spit at him. That’s it. You should think I’d beaten him or pulled his hair.
It’s not even that. It’s just - I am sick of being a sub. I am sick of not being allowed a voice, and I am mad. I’m so mad I was forced to kneel to a man who has insulted me and beg for my job and for his forgiveness.
[She manages to smile.]
I am the queen of pretend and he and Ignacio are fooled... but it’s not fair that he can insult me and I cannot retaliate.
no subject
[ much as she hates to pull the dom card, she'll do it in this instance, because the last thing she's going to put up with is anyone else hurting charlotte and the idea of it makes something twist in her stomach, makes her rage but also realize faintly that she can't go running off to deal with this now while charlotte's here needing her. ]
He what?!
[ she doesn't even hear the rest of it, really, and it's not that she'd care much about the fine either because she makes enough to cover it, but that makes her spring to her feet, fingers clenching into small fists before she has to will herself to sit down again, this time joining charlotte on the couch. ]
No. [ she draws in a breath, trying to calm herself down. ] No, you're right. He can't — I'm not gonna let him get away with that, okay? But this is what I'm here for, gorgeous. To deal with it when you can't. You gotta let me take care of you.
[ she leans forward, smoothing a hand against charlotte's face. ] I know you gotta play nice and all that bullshit, and I know you're good at it. Right? You wouldn't have gotten to where you are without knowin' how to pretend. But anybody who crosses you is crossin' me too, and I wanna protect you as long as you let me know what's goin' on. Let me handle it when you can't.
no subject
[Charlotte shakes her head. She sounds exhausted and looks absolutely shattered.]
I had to apologise to a man who insulted me and had me carted off to bloody prison. And on my damn knees as well. I just - hate that I need you to fight it.
[She leans her cheek against Bruce's soft fur.]
It wasn't even enough. The knees - the damn collar - [Her fingers go to the thick leather collar buckled tightly round her neck, and she toys with the heavy ring that dangles onto her breastbone]
He wants it on the network. The apology. Public. He wants me to tell everyone that I've learned how to behave.
no subject
[ harley's pissed, but she's choosing to channel this frustration the only way she can think of right now: coming up with a plan. ] I was on my own for a long time. Didn't want to have to need anybody else. But then I realized, sometimes it doesn't make ya weak to ask for help. And the people who really matter will always be there to give it if you need. Also —
[ she reaches up to find the buckles that are keeping that ugly leather collar wrapped around charlotte's neck, fingers working insistently until she can take it off. ]
— the only person who gets to put a collar on you like that is you. Right? So if you gotta wear one once in a while, we'll find you something you like. Something pretty.
[ she turns over the leather in her fingers and then unceremoniously tosses it aside. ] Well, you're not gonna have to do anything. Not alone, anyway. What if... what if I say somethin' to him? Tell him if he has a problem with you, he comes to me. And I'll tell him whatever bullshit he needs to hear to make himself feel better. 'Kay?
[ she reaches up to run her fingers through the ends of charlotte's hair, gently twining. ] Think of the contract as, like... a protection agreement. You've got me in your corner. So if you need to tap out and let me go into the ring for you, you can always do that. Don't think you have to fight alone 'cause you don't wanna make me mad. What I'd be more pissed about is findin' out later when I coulda done something to help you.
no subject
[She shakes her head. She loves her sister, but she can't confide in her. Charlotte takes a deep breath and shifts her weight from Bruce to Harley. The collar coming off is a relief; Charlotte's tears are drying, but she's still shaking from anger and upset.]
Hey though - don't lose that fucking thing. I'm gonna use it in this stupid apology. I know what you're saying but... if you go after him, you'll have Ignacio after you. And what better way to get at youth to go after me or Cass? And no one will care if we're slammed in the people zoo or whatever and they won't let you help. Harls, help me make this apology bloody brilliant. We'll have a laugh but make it look serious?
[A plan's starting to form in her mind - a vague one, because it's Charlotte and all she can see is Huaisang taking her fake apology completely seriously on the network. She goes back to stroking Bruce.]
He reminds me of a Lord I knew back in London. He were Lucy's cull as well. Couldn't stand me because I knew. I knew he were a snake, and not just his dick. He was evil. Turns out he was even worse - fucking murderer what sent my Ma to the gallows and countless girls to their graves. Lucy won't see it - but I need my damn job back to make sure she's safe. He had her kneeling like a damn dog at his feet.
[Harley's hand in her hair is so soothing, and Charlotte can feel the upset dissipating at least a little.] You're so... So brilliant. If I have to have a dominant, I am glad you are she.
no subject
[ what grinds her gears more is that she had to find out about all of this after the fact, but then again, she hasn’t tried to really put tabs on charlotte or pay attention to where she is every minute of every day either, so maybe some of this is her own fault. ]
So we give them what they want for now, but we do it our way. Don’t give ‘em the satisfaction of makin’ you kneel in things they made you wear. You dress up how you want, you wear something pretty and shiny around your neck and you let me do the talkin’ on the network, and if I have to tell ‘em that I had to punish ya, we can make ‘em believe it. We’re good at pretend, aren’t we? [ her voice is soft, soothing, and she leans in to press her lips to charlotte’s temple, stroking along the side of her tear-streaked cheek. ]
You know I’d do anything for you, don’tcha, gorgeous? [ she turns charlotte’s face to hers, nudges their noses together. ] And that includes dealin’ with these assholes.
no subject
Right. Pretend. We'll make 'em think it and then do whatever the hell we want after. Right.
[She nods, almost to herself, before Harley catches her face. Charlotte smiles, and rubs her nose against the side of Harley's, nuzzling in.]
I wish we could just take your bat and break their knees. Then they should have at least reason to complain about me. Perhaps I shall just have to wait until he has forgotten me and then smash his shop windows instead.
[Charlotte pecks Harley's cheek.] Or perhaps I shall just let you help me forget it all ever happened.
no subject
[ it is an appealing thought, wielding her bat on something or someone, and she considers it with a tilt of her head, but in the same breath she realizes that this might be a case of playing it smart, not hard. especially since huaisang has already demonstrated how he reacts to the violent approach. ]
Why don't we think about somethin' else for a little while? No reason they need to live rent-free in your head anymore. [ she smooths charlotte's hair back with one hand, trying to coax a smile with one of her own. ] Lemme cheer you up.
no subject
[She smiles at Harley's gentle touches and her infectious smile.]
I landed on my feet when you took me on, Harley. What would I do without you?
no subject
The same shit you did before we even ran into each other. [ she tucks a few pieces of hair behind charlotte's ear, hand dropping back into her own lap. ] You've always been capable of standin' tall, with or without me.