[She shrugs. What more can either woman say, really?]
I have had so many lovers - culls, we call 'em. But my heart isn't for them. I am not so convinced I even possess such a thing. But to be owned - and when you refuse to behave, they hit and punch until you are compliant or beaten enough for them to have their way, to own you for even that time. Sir George weren't the first to stop, but his hurt the worst. He took me to dinner after, a whore at the Lord's table, and laughed about it with his friends.
I have never told no one before. I mean, it's nothing, being beaten and forced and that. It happens, you know? Even here. That man you know from home... I don't care. But it feels almost... safe? Is that right? Safe with you anyway.
More or less. [ and that's not even getting into all the other fucked-up stuff that happened that she doesn't want to drop into casual conversation, mostly because she's convinced her own view of it is skewed and twisted enough because of what she's had to compartmentalize. ]
Jesus Christ, that motherfucker. [ so the only thing she offers now is sympathetic rage, anger bubbling up until she grits out the words through her teeth. ] I hope you cut off his own balls and fed 'em to him.
[ she has to rein herself in, drawing in a breath and then pushing it out slowly. ] What J and I had... it wasn't healthy. It wasn't good for me. I know that now. And they might have some paper somewhere that says you're mine or whatever, but I would never, ever let anything like that happen to you. Okay? You're your own woman, Char. Think of it more like... usin' my name to get yourself what you want. Not a ball and chain draggin' ya down.
The man from Insincerity? He drugged me - forced me to eat nuts. He almost had me skinned when I said I was disappointed with his size. I do not think he appreciated my tongue.
[She chuckles, though what happened between her and Roman hadn't been pleasant at all. Her expression, though, grows serious with Harley's explanation.]
I think you're the only person who has understood. It is horrid that you do... but I appreciate it all the same. Imagine! We shall live like queens between the two of us.
[ and harley's eyes, which are frankly still narrowed from hearing about this other dickhead from charlotte's past, suddenly become even harder than that. ]
... which man was that, exactly?
[ because she thinks she might have an idea of exactly who it is, but she's not going to make any assumptions because she knows what that will do. ]
I forget his name. Kind of small. Kind of slimy. He walks round like a dog but he acts like a bitch. I thought he was joking when he asked for my clothes in the middle of the club but the bastard forced me to strip.
It's not the first time a man has humiliated me but he was the first to drug me as well.
I have thought to seek revenge but... what am I supposed to do?
[ now she really is starting to seethe, and not at charlotte, but it might be harder to hear her through the firm grit of teeth as she sucks in a breath. ]
Roman friggin' Sionis. That's who it was, wasn't it.
[ she almost doesn't need to wait for charlotte's answer. ]
Don't. Don't do anything, not yet. We'll figure somethin' out. He doesn't get to just get away with this.
Yes - YES! Yes, Roman. He owned the club - the first one we -
[Despite how badly that night turned out once Roman had caught sight of her, she would take the assault a million times over for that time with Harley again.]
I think it's about time we were treated as equals - women, submissives, all of it. I'm fed up with this, you know? Not just Roman. The city - all of it. We have to be able to do something.
[ and truthfully, she had probably been either too distracted by having a drunk conversation in the ladies' room or dealing with trying to avoid roman by trying to convince zsasz to pretend he hadn't seen her. ]
Well, takin' on Roman Sionis is one thing. Takin' on the city? That's a whole different enchilada.
It's different for you though. You can do as you like. For me, this place has more restrictions than London. And with Lucy here. Her cunt is tighter than a miser's purse, I'm telling you, Harley. They'll keep her in the People Zoo for refusing to fill her damn quota unless they at least let me fill it for her. You and I alone should fill it enough for her as well as I.
I hate to break it to ya, but I don't know that it really could even work like that.
[ sure, if there was a way for her to like transfer over some of her bangs to charlotte's sister, she'd do it in a heartbeat, because she really has no qualms about getting hers, but. ]
It's not like givin' somebody money. Sooner or later she might just have to start gettin' creative with it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
trigger warnings for rape
[She shrugs. What more can either woman say, really?]
I have had so many lovers - culls, we call 'em. But my heart isn't for them. I am not so convinced I even possess such a thing. But to be owned - and when you refuse to behave, they hit and punch until you are compliant or beaten enough for them to have their way, to own you for even that time. Sir George weren't the first to stop, but his hurt the worst. He took me to dinner after, a whore at the Lord's table, and laughed about it with his friends.
I have never told no one before. I mean, it's nothing, being beaten and forced and that. It happens, you know? Even here. That man you know from home... I don't care. But it feels almost... safe? Is that right? Safe with you anyway.
no subject
Jesus Christ, that motherfucker. [ so the only thing she offers now is sympathetic rage, anger bubbling up until she grits out the words through her teeth. ] I hope you cut off his own balls and fed 'em to him.
[ she has to rein herself in, drawing in a breath and then pushing it out slowly. ] What J and I had... it wasn't healthy. It wasn't good for me. I know that now. And they might have some paper somewhere that says you're mine or whatever, but I would never, ever let anything like that happen to you. Okay? You're your own woman, Char. Think of it more like... usin' my name to get yourself what you want. Not a ball and chain draggin' ya down.
no subject
[She chuckles, though what happened between her and Roman hadn't been pleasant at all. Her expression, though, grows serious with Harley's explanation.]
I think you're the only person who has understood. It is horrid that you do... but I appreciate it all the same.
Imagine! We shall live like queens between the two of us.
no subject
... which man was that, exactly?
[ because she thinks she might have an idea of exactly who it is, but she's not going to make any assumptions because she knows what that will do. ]
no subject
It's not the first time a man has humiliated me but he was the first to drug me as well.
I have thought to seek revenge but... what am I supposed to do?
no subject
Roman friggin' Sionis. That's who it was, wasn't it.
[ she almost doesn't need to wait for charlotte's answer. ]
Don't. Don't do anything, not yet. We'll figure somethin' out. He doesn't get to just get away with this.
no subject
[Despite how badly that night turned out once Roman had caught sight of her, she would take the assault a million times over for that time with Harley again.]
I think it's about time we were treated as equals - women, submissives, all of it. I'm fed up with this, you know? Not just Roman. The city - all of it. We have to be able to do something.
no subject
[ and truthfully, she had probably been either too distracted by having a drunk conversation in the ladies' room or dealing with trying to avoid roman by trying to convince zsasz to pretend he hadn't seen her. ]
Well, takin' on Roman Sionis is one thing. Takin' on the city? That's a whole different enchilada.
no subject
no subject
[ sure, if there was a way for her to like transfer over some of her bangs to charlotte's sister, she'd do it in a heartbeat, because she really has no qualms about getting hers, but. ]
It's not like givin' somebody money. Sooner or later she might just have to start gettin' creative with it.